My maternal grandfather passed away on last Friday. That was the day I had my last paper in the university. I did not manage attend the funeral because my parents were departing for the funeral too early. I knew if I wanted, they would definitely wait for me. Yet by taking into various considerations, I decided not to attend at last.
*
I only met my grandfather twice. The last time I saw him was around 10 years ago. This is also the reason I feel so wanted to attend his funeral. At least, for the third and last time, let me pay the last respect to him. I really have my difficulties all along for not able to visiting maternal grandparents like my other siblings bi-annually. I know I must have hurted my mother very much but somebody has to sacrifice. I am tiring of squezing in between. None of them is wrong and if they do, is that they love me too much and therefore afraid of losing me.
*
Now my paternal grandmother, who raised me up is also in unstable condition. Actually she could have lived healthier and happier if she could let go all the unnecessary worries. The illness in her heart leads to the situation now. What she wants is very simple yet we cannot fulfill her wish. I think she is too lonely and I really feel helpless with her current condition.
*
I could only hope things will get better when days pass. I will stay strong.
No comments:
Post a Comment